Deepen The Kiss Page 5

  I grip onto it and lean in as I practically hiss, “I don’t have time for this.”

  I’m livid that he’s come to my parents’ house.

  I try to remind myself that he doesn’t know that my mama is sick. No one knows. We don’t talk about it. Mama doesn’t want us to. But still. There are fucking boundaries, and Hunter’s pushing mine.

  He rests the palm of his hand against the door, but he doesn’t try to open it.

  “Vi, I just wanna-”

  I don’t let him continue; I don’t wanna hear what he has to say. Whatever it is, it’s too little, too late.

  “You just wanna barge back into my life and use me? Throw me away again when you’ve had your fill?”

  My words come out in a tone even I don’t recognize. I don’t talk like this, to anyone, but today I’ve had it. I’m stressed and unhappy and I refuse to let him think I have any time for his games.

  Instead of looking hurt or remorseful, Hunter looks back at me with a flash of anger.

  “I didn’t throw you away,” he says with an even voice.

  I keep his narrowed gaze and scoff at him. “I don’t wanna hear it. Whatever you have to say, you can keep it to yourself.”

  I try to shut the door, but he holds it open. I look up at him with daggers, hating that he’s stronger than me.

  “What’s going on?” Mama asks from behind me, and my eyes fly to hers. All the anger vanishes as my heart races.

  “Who’s there?” she asks as she opens the door to answer her question herself.

  I watch as her forehead scrunches and her eyebrows raise.

  “Hunter,” she says with a bit of surprise before looking back at me. My face feels like it’s on fire and I can’t look her in the eyes.

  “I just wanted to come on by and talk to Violet for a minute, Mrs. Shaw.” Hunter’s polite as he always is, but it’s not gonna work this time.

  “I don’t think she wants to talk right now, Hunter,” my mother answers.

  My chest tightens with pain. My mama shouldn’t be coming to my rescue. I’m a grown woman. Yet he makes me weak.

  “I don’t,” I say with conviction, finally looking back at Hunter.

  Hunter looks at me for a long moment in silence, before conceding.

  He nods once and looks back at Mama. “Nice to see you again, Mrs. Shaw.”

  “You too, Hunter,” Mama says evenly.

  She leaves me in the doorway alone with him. I watch her back as she walks away, and then look to Hunter.

  I expect him to say something, anything. I don’t know what, but he doesn’t say a damn thing.

  I don’t either. I have nothing else to tell him. He turns without saying goodbye to me. It hurts more than it should. It’s what I wanted, I should be happy.

  As I shut the door and rest my head against the wall, my heart breaks. I wish I was over him, but it’s painfully obvious that I’m not.

  I wish he hadn’t come back here.

  CHAPTER 6

  HUNTER

  I wander into the kitchen late the next morning to find little Abbi on the floor, trying to pour milk into a bowl of Froot Loops.

  She’s dressed like she’s going out somewhere, in pink tights and a purple shirt. She even has her purple light-up shoes on, although they’re on the wrong feet.

  “Whoa, let me help,” I say, taking the milk from her before she can spill it all over the place.

  “Tanks Hunn.” She’s just now starting to say sentences and learn new words. I grin at her attempt at pronouncing my name, and fill her bowl halfway. The colorful sugary cereal swirls brightly.

  “There you go,” I say, grabbing a spoon out of the drawer.

  She smiles at me, attacking the cereal gleefully with the spoon and her hands. The purpose of the spoon seems lost on Abbi, who mostly uses it as a shovel once the cereal is in her mouth. Milk spills down her shirt and onto the floor. I’m not used to kids or what’s normal. But at least the floor and her will be easy to clean up once she’s done. I lean against the counter, watching her have the time of her life, just eating.

  “Oh, thank God you’re up,” Haley says, appearing from the basement.

  She’s light-haired with green eyes like me, but with about ten pounds of makeup on. She’s dressed up in black pants and a long-sleeve, white blouse that’s a little on the sheer side.

  “Yeah, I’m supposed to go look at that lake house again,” I say, going to the fridge to pour myself some orange juice. I don’t know how I feel about leaving and moving out there. I want to be here for my family, but I’m sure as fuck not living at my parents' forever. The house isn’t that far, but it’s on the outskirts of town.

  “I need you to watch Abbi,” she says, putting big hoop earrings on. “I have a lunch date.”

  “What?” I ask with my brows furrowed.

  “A lunch date,” she says, making it clear that she’s speaking slowly for my benefit. “Time to get back on the horse.”

  What the fuck? I don’t mind watching Abbi, but I sure as hell have thoughts about her going out on a date. This isn’t the first one either.

  Abbi squeals on the floor and kicks the bowl, splashing milk everywhere. Haley looks at her with her mouth opened and then closes her eyes and sighs heavily.

  She looks like she’s going to snap. Shit. “I’ll clean it up.”

  “Thanks,” she says, running her hands through her hair and moving across the room to slip on a pair of heels.

  I stare at her, not knowing what to say. I don’t know how I feel about her going out to see other men. But I don’t know if it’s my place to say a damn thing about it.

  I want to say something to her, but I’m not sure if I’ll say the right thing. I don’t want to cause tension for her or upset her. I already feel like I owe her and Abbi. I should’ve been there. Chris would still be alive if I hadn’t fucked up.

  “Mom and Dad are at the doctor, getting Dad’s knee looked at. They’ll be back later to help out,” she says.

  “Haley—”

  She picks up her purse, and turns to look at me. “What?”

  “Just…” I can almost see the ghost of her dead husband, haunting the space between us. “Don’t you think you should slow down a little? You’ve gone out on two dates already since I’ve been home. I’ve barely seen you.”

  “You’re telling me how to live my life. You were the one that brought Chris home in the first place,” she says, her mouth curving down like she’s tasting something bitter even though her eyes glass over. She swallows thickly and looks away.

  She’s hurting, and I regret bringing it up.

  “Haley…” I say, setting my glass of juice on the counter.

  She shifts her stance, ready to leave, and glares at me.

  “Do me a favor? Watch Abbi, and stay out of my business while you do it. Can you do that?”

  My voice catches in my throat. I don’t like the way she’s talking to me, but another part of me is fine with her anger. I deserve it. I brought those two together and then failed to bring him back home to her. This is the most we’ve ever talked about it. I feel useless. I don’t have the words to say how I feel; I certainly don’t have the ones she wants to hear. I take a deep breath, hold it for a second before letting it go.

  “Yeah, alright,” I say, waving her off.

  She heads off, oblivious to the bye mommy! that Abbi lets out. I hear the click of her heels and then the door slams.

  I curse beneath my breath, and turn back to Abbi. She smiles at me, milk running down her chin.

  I push two pieces of bread into the toaster and think back to how they met. I brought Chris Goode home for the holiday after Haley’s graduation. We’d gotten real close and he didn’t have any family of his own. He and Haley hit it off right away, got engaged on his next trip home.

  I couldn’t be mad. Chris had a backbone of steel, but he melted whenever Haley was around. Watching them together… well, it made me hopeful for the future. Made me think of
Vi, honestly.

  Chris became the team leader of my SEALs unit, right after they married. Then we were shipped off to Syria, to quell the civilian violence. We did our jobs, saw plenty of bloodshed.

  Hell, I personally wrought plenty of it, as the unit’s designated sniper. But we got through it.

  One morning it was my turn to go through routine psychological testing, care of the U.S. Navy. While I was sitting in a cramped tent and talking to the shrink about how he thought I may not be fit to continue, my squad was lighting up a tactical view point in downtown Damascus.

  The operation went sideways, and an RPG ended the entire thing. Without an experienced sniper to look down over the scene, my squad had no chance. They were dead before anyone even knew what was happening.

  The toast pops up, waking me from my thoughts. I grab it and eat it over the sink, keeping an eye on Abbi. I’ve never discussed the details of Chris’ death with Haley, not once. I wasn’t there. I should’ve kept my mouth shut to that fucking shrink. I’m fine. I’m as good as I’m gonna be, doing the shit we did. I don’t know what they expect from me.

  I wanted to tell her. I’ve wanted to tell her so many times, but she never asked.

  Not even as she stood at his funeral, sobbing uncontrollably and demanding to know why God would take her husband so soon. The more emotional she got, the more distant I became.

  I went back to the SEALs, went back on active duty, but my heart wasn’t in it. After a couple of close calls, my new unit commander had me declared unfit.

  So now I’m eating toast and watching Abbi push her cereal around with her fingers, spoon forgotten.

  “Hey,” I say. “What should we do this morning? Play a game? Watch TV?” I ask her to get my mind on something else.

  I take her shoes off, and put them on the right way, lacing them up.

  She looks thoughtful for a moment, then gleeful. “Cookie!”

  She pronounces it cooo-kieee, but I understand her well enough.

  “Cookie?” I ask.

  “Cookie store!” she announces, throwing her arms in the air.

  A piece of cereal goes flying from her hand, landing on the floor with a plop. I grab a paper towel and wipe off her hands before kneeling to get the cereal off the floor.

  “Cookie store,” I say thoughtfully. “Do you mean Sweet Treats?”

  “Yeaaah!” she says, doing a happy dance in her seat. “Tweet! Tweet!”

  “Alright,” I say, unable to resist her charm. “Let’s go to the cookie store.”

  I pick her up, find my keys, and head out.

  Abbi is surprisingly light in my arms. She’s bubbly and talkative as we walk the six blocks to the bakery. I can’t understand most of what she’s saying, but I let her chatter away as we go.

  As far as company goes, Abbi is proving pretty good. We walk slowly, not in any hurry. I make sure to point out the buildings as we pass them.

  “That’s the post office,” I say. “And that’s the church…”

  We make it to the bakery in no time and with her still smiling. The front door chimes as I open it. There’s a big display case and a counter with a cash register on it, but no one is up front. It’s quiet.

  “Down!” Abbi says, wiggling.

  I let her climb down, looking at the display. I walk over to admire the frosted cupcakes and seemingly endless cookies, crouching to see a carefully iced birthday cake. It’s got huge frosting balloons all over, and it says Happy 8th Birthday Henry!

  “Can I help you?” a soft voice comes through and makes my heart stutter.

  I straighten, and look right at Violet. She stares back at me for a long second, equally surprised. She looks so damn beautiful. Her long hair is pulled back, making the soft curves of her face stand out even more.

  My heart pauses as I take her in. She’s got an apron wrapped around her narrow waist, making her body look extra curvy. What the hell? Is she working here?

  “Vi,” I say with a hint of confusion. “What are you doing here? Are you working for Mr. Mealey?” He’s had this place all my life.

  She scowls. “It’s my place now.”

  I raise my brows. “You made all of this?”

  She stares at me for a minute as if she’s not sure if she even wants to answer me, and it pisses me off. She can run away, she can shut me out, but I’m not going anywhere. I want her, and I’m not gonna stop until I have her.

  She spots Abbi, who has come over to cling to my leg. I can see the confusion ripple through Vi. I have the feeling that she’s trying to figure out how the hell Abbi got stuck with me.

  “Hi there,” Vi says to Abbi with a much softer voice than what she gave me. She walks around the display to kneel in front of Abbi.

  “Cookie Lady,” Abbi says to her, and then looks to me for reassurance.

  “Cookie Lady is super nice,” I say. “Right, Cookie Lady?”

  “Right,” Vi says, looking at me uncertainly. When she turns to Abbi, though, she’s all smiles. “How about you and I go around the counter and pick out a cookie?”

  “Yeah!” Abbi says, grinning. “Cookie!”

  Vi stands up and takes Abbi by the hand. They walk to the back of the display case, where Abbi picks out three cookies. They’re huge, easily as big as my hand.

  “Would you wrap up two of them, so we can take them home?” I say to Vi.

  “Yeah,” she says easily, not smiling at me but then giving Abbi a grin.

  I look at Abbi. “I don’t think your mom will be excited about you having three cookies at once, buddy.”

  Abbi comes around the counter, happy. She’s busy eating her cookie of choice, chocolate chip and M&Ms.

  I pick Abbi up and sit her down on the only bench available.

  Vi smiles again, and goes to wrap up the other cookies. I pull out my wallet and toss two twenties on the counter.

  “Just one,” Vi says matter-of-factly, pushing the other twenty across the counter. “Cookies are only one fifty apiece.”

  “So keep the change,” I say, shrugging.

  She narrows her eyes and shakes her head, not moving to touch the other twenty as she rings up the sale.

  “Okay, how about this? I talk to you for five minutes, and you keep the rest of the money as services rendered,” I say, holding her gaze

  Vi gives me a suspicious look, but picks up the money and puts it in the till.

  “Fine. Five minutes,” she says, pushing the small white bag of cookies across the counter to me and crossing her arms. She doesn’t know it, but that bite in her voice and the way her breasts are pushed up only make me want her more. If she’s thinking she can send me away with this cold shoulder she’s given me, she’s wrong. Dead fucking wrong.

  “I want to say…” I clear my throat and try to think of the right words. “I want to apologize,” I say, looking down at my hands. “For leaving you.” I look back up and into her eyes. She’s trying to hide it, but I know she’s still hurting.

  “What about for leaving me to the wolves?” she asks, arms crossed.

  “I’m sorry, Vi.”

  “I told you not to call me that.”

  I frown as I consider her. I don’t like it.

  She might be upset with me, but I know I can make this right. She’s my Vi. She’ll always be mine. She can be mad at me for now, but that’s not changing.

  I take a deep breath and decide to just talk and open up to her. Maybe if I start, she’ll follow my lead. And I want her to know. I want to be able to confide in her like I used to. “I feel really out of place here,” I say. “Civilian life isn’t what I remember it to be. But I look at you, and I think—”

  The door chimes and I pause my thought; we both turn to see Mr. White, Slade’s father. He looks the same as ever, a tall man in a dark suit with greying hair. He shoots me and Abbi a disdainful look, then turns to Vi. I clench my jaw.

  “Good morning, Violet,” he says, ignoring me. “I came in to get that tray of croissants for the bank.” He wal
ks up to the counter. “Big meeting, you know.”

  “Oh, of course,” Vi says, darting a nervous look at me. “Let me grab it for you.”

  She ducks into the back, leaving me alone with Mr. White. I glance at him, but he pointedly stares at the display case.

  I guess he knows who I am, then. It’s a small town and we’ve met before, but I haven’t seen him since I’ve been back. I haven’t seen much of anyone.

  Vi comes back with the tray of fresh croissants wrapped up in plastic wrap and sets it on the counter.

  “Thanks for your order,” she says nervously.

  “Not at all, my dear. By the way, how was your date with Slade on Saturday?” Her brows shoot up, and he chuckles. “Slade keeps me in the loop on everything. I just thought I’d ask how it went.”

  “I, uh…” she stammers. She looks at me, blushing, and then back to Mr. White. “Good?”

  “Oh good,” he says, glancing at the croissants. “I think you and Slade make a nice couple. Especially considering the fact that Slade doesn’t care about your past, apparently…”

  Her past? Is that fucker referring to me?

  I bite my tongue and wait for Vi to say something or give me a look so I know I can take over.

  “It was just fine,” she says, as though there was nothing wrong with that statement.

  My hands curl into fists and I start to take a step forward, but before I can do anything about what Mr. White just said, Abbi announces that she’s done eating.

  “All done!” she says, waving her sticky, chocolate-covered hands at me. “Allllll done.”

  Thank fuck she reminded me she was here. I’m on edge with anger and doing my best to contain it. I look back at Mr. White and see him for the man he’s always been. If Abbi wasn’t here, I’d slam my fist into his jaw.

  I look back at Vi and she’s not showing any concern.

  I huff out a breath and walk over to pick Abbi up. It’s definitely time for us to go. I turn toward the door.

  “Wait!” Vi calls as I get to the front door.

  I turn back, and she’s holding the white paper bag with my extra cookies in it. “Don’t forget these.”