Damaged: Sins and Secrets Series of Duets Page 15

  I didn’t think he cared.

  So now what? I ask her and try to swallow the ball of heat rising in my throat. It doesn’t change anything.

  I don’t see him letting this go. Not when he can get back at you.

  A frustrated groan travels up my throat.

  Fuck him. He can do what he wants, but I’m not his bitch.

  My phone immediately vibrates as I slip it into my pocket, and I immediately take it out. Not to read her response, only to shut it off, silencing it and ignoring all the problems that wait for me.

  I swallow thickly and step out into the cool night, the city traffic surrounding me as I shut the car door and leave it all behind.

  Everything is crumbling around me, but the only thing I care about is losing Kat. I don’t see how I can hold on to her when I don’t have a plan and I’ve lost control.

  She needs a better man, and I swear I can be one. We just need to start over and get away from this shit.

  I run my hand down my face. Hitting the lock, the car beeps and the bright headlights flash in the dark of the night. The sounds of the city streets are loud as I walk up the sidewalk, past men and women who carry on with their busy lives and don’t have a clue how mine is being ripped apart.

  The keys jingle in my hand as I make my way home. Every second I’m trying to think of the best way to come clean about everything to Kat. She deserves to know, even if she hates me once she finds out. I have to tell her first.

  A heavy breath leaves me as I turn the lock and walk into the building, running a hand over my hair and trying to block the image of her disappointment from my mind.

  I can see how her green eyes will widen, how her lips will part and how she’ll think I’m lying at first. I can see how she’ll look at me, how she’ll question who I am and why or if, she loves me.

  My footsteps are heavy as I grip the iron railing and head to the top of the stairwell, to our home we’ve built together, the one she’s kicked me out of. My gut feels heavy, churning with a sickness that rises to my chest as I hear her voice and recall the memory of her telling me to get out. My fingers wrap tighter around the rail, keeping me upright as I force myself to continue. I need to confess and come clean. But I don’t think she’ll love me anymore once she learns the whole truth.

  That’s the part that hurts the most. I barely have a grip on the railing as I take the last step and imagine her telling me to leave again.

  When I need her most.

  I just want Kat back and the life we once had. It’s all I need to live.

  My blood turns ice cold when I stop at the top of the stairs and see Kat talking to that asshole from the café.

  My legs feel like they’re trembling; my body’s shaking from the sight of him. Jacob, the supposed client Kat said was no one. No one, my ass.

  Anger rises quickly as I watch them. I’m not an idiot. I knew there was something between them. I could tell. I know my wife. The thought steals the breath from my lungs and the love I thought I had, the love I thought she had for me, it all crumbles into dust.

  “You motherfucker,” I sneer the words without thinking twice. The door to my townhouse is still cracked when this prick looks up at me.

  “What are you doing!” Kat screams as she stands in the doorway. I turn just slightly, just enough to see her frantically pushing the door open. It bangs hard against the wall as she pleads with me to stop. But there’s no way I can.

  I won’t let anyone come between us. She’s all I have left.

  Chapter 29

  Kat

  * * *

  It’s not because I hate him,

  It’s not because of love.

  It’s because I only have myself,

  When push comes to shove.

  I knew better than to fall for him,

  To think that we had grown.

  I knew better than to believe in love,

  I’m meant to be alone.

  I’d recognize Evan’s voice anywhere. But the anger is something new. Something terrifying even. The second I grip the cold handle and open the door, my body freezes and the shock makes my mouth hang open and my eyes go wide. My heart beats in what feels like slow motion.

  “Stop it!” I scream at him. My words echo in my head as he slams his fist against Jacob’s jaw. It’s instantly red and swollen. And Evan’s already got his other fist up.

  “Evan!” I scream as I run out of the foyer and into the hallway. “Stop it!” I yell and grip onto Evan’s arm. I try desperately to pull him away, but his hard, hot body is a force I can’t control and I’m still hanging onto him, my nails scratching his arm as I try to pry them apart.

  “Evan, stop!” I slam both of my hands into Evan’s chest, managing to squeeze between the two men as Jacob grabs his jaw.

  “You fucked my wife,” Evan yells over me, screaming at Jacob and this time I want to smack Evan straight across his face. I don’t. I don’t give him any reaction except to turn toward Jacob to apologize.

  But Jake is smiling, a cocky grin plastered across his face like this is some sort of joke or game. Like he thinks it’s funny, and it does nothing but piss Evan off.

  “You mother-”

  “Stop it!” I scream again, and this time my voice feels raw and it pains me to scream. My body’s hot and shaking, adrenaline coursing through my blood as my heart races.

  “Get out of here!” I yell and push Jacob away. His green eyes flash with something, perhaps disbelief, or maybe something else. I’m not sure, but I don’t have time for him.

  “You’re cheating on me,” Evan says it as if it’s a question, his nostrils flaring and his hands still clenched into fists.

  “I’m not the one keeping secrets, you fucking asshole. He’s a client and nothing more.” My gaze almost shifts away from him. I know there was something, a chemistry that kindled between Jacob and me. A tension that I wanted to push. But it’s only because I was hurting, and I never submitted to the temptation. I couldn’t hurt Evan like that. I never would.

  “What is wrong with you?” I ask him with nothing but disdain. For a moment I think of all the questions on the tip of my tongue, asking him why he’s doing it and when he turned into this man. But this is the man I married. I’m the one who’s changed. Not him.

  Evan takes a step forward and his hand raises to my shoulder. I smack him away, barely feeling his hot skin against mine. “Don’t touch me!” I yell at him. My hand stings from the impact and I can’t stand it.

  I can’t stand what we’ve become.

  Evan’s shoulders rise and fall steadily. The heavy breaths and furious look in his dark eyes make me take a step back. I’d never think he’d hurt me, never. But the fear spreading through my body forces me backward.

  “Kat,” he says and his voice cracks, like my name strangles him as he whispers it again. He takes a hesitant step forward, raising his arms and the blood from his torn knuckles is all I can see.

  “What were you thinking?” I can barely ask him. Evan’s expression falls and he looks past me. It’s only then that I turn and see that Jake is gone. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “What was he doing here?” he asks me and I want to smack him again. How dare he accuse me of anything.

  “I’ve never cheated on you, and I wouldn’t. Ever.”

  “Evan, I can’t deal with this. The partying and what you’re doing.”

  “I quit, Kat. I might … I might have some things happen.” He closes his eyes and moves his hands to his hair. Hands with split knuckles and traces of blood.

  Was he always like this? I want to hold and comfort him. But it’s no use.

  “I was stupid.”

  “Evan, you’ve had years to be stupid. Years of me begging you to grow up.” Every word hurts more and more. I know I’m not going to give him what he needs. I can’t anymore.

  “I wanted you to be my partner.” I whisper the words, my voice laced with disappointment.

  “I thought that’s what we were.”


  “I need someone who’s ready for the next stage of life,” I barely get the words out as my throat dries and closes, threatening to suffocate me. But I finish the thought, making my heart split into two as I look deep into Evan’s eyes and tell him, “Or no one at all.”

  “Kat,” Evan says, whispering my name as if it’s a threat. One against him. Or maybe it’s a plea. “I’m sorry, okay?”

  My head shakes and the words won’t come out.

  “I’m sorry I hit him, it looked bad at first. It looked like something else to me, but even then I shouldn’t have hit him.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have.”

  “It was shitty of me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he says and I believe him. But it’s not enough.

  I wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand as I shake my head. “I can’t do this anymore.” It’s the truth and even though it’s the worst pain that I’ve felt in my entire life, I know it needs to be done. “I can do this on my own.”

  “Don’t say that,” Evan says, but he stands there numb, not moving, his hands by his side and his body stiff with disbelief. Or maybe fear. “I can’t lose you,” he says. I feel like my heart is breaking, but I shake my head.

  “Maybe I should just be alone.” My eyes burn with more tears as I shake my head again and say, “No, I need to. I need to be alone. I’m sorry,” my voice fails me as I whisper the apology. I hate hurting him; I can’t stand the pain in his eyes and expression. He doesn’t try to hide it in the least, and it shreds me.

  But we’re just not meant for each other, not with the lives we’re leading.

  “I love you.”

  “Love isn’t enough!” I yell and hate myself. I truly do. “It’s not enough anymore,” I say, steadying my voice although it’s still low. I cross my arms and try to keep myself together, I try to hold my body upright although it begs me to collapse.

  “Is that what you want?” he asks.

  “I want a divorce,” I say the lie as if it were one word. The words all come out at once, bunched together and needing to be said, to be heard. To be felt to the very core of who Evan is.

  My fingertips grip onto my forearms as I slowly raise my eyes to his and the conviction wavers.

  He doesn’t speak, although his lips part once and then again. He licks them as his brow furrows and he visibly swallows and looks past me at the empty wall. Again he starts to say something but stops, clasping and unclasping his hands and trying to find some way to tell me what he’s thinking.

  The worst part is that I want him to say something. I need him to give me something to hold on to him.

  I’d go mad waiting to hear him tell me he’ll make this right. For him I’d fall again, I know I would. There isn’t enough strength in my body to keep me from Evan.

  But he doesn’t say a word. It takes a long moment. Each second my heart beats, the steady sound is all I can hear anymore. And then he turns his back to me and walks away without saying another word.

  My body is freezing as I slowly turn from the hall and head toward our door. I can’t breathe, but somehow I am. I can’t manage a thought, but my mind is whirling with the image of what just happened.

  The way he spoke my name like he needed me. The way his voice was laced with desperation and his eyes shined with determination, but then failure. The way his expression crumbled when he realized he lost me.

  I don’t stop walking until I get back to our bedroom, barely glancing at the unmade bed and remembering the last time we shared it and everything about that night. I can still feel his lips on my neck, his hands traveling ever so slowly down my body as he whispered how much he loves me. And I believe the sentiment. No one has ever loved me like Evan, and no one else ever will.

  It’s just not enough.

  For me, I’d go back to him. I’d let him do what he wanted and I’d pay the price. I head into the bathroom.

  I pick up the small plastic stick still hanging off the edge of the sink.

  My head’s been a mess with all the shit Evan’s done. I didn’t realize I’d missed one period, let alone two.

  It’s the brightest set of pink lines. I may not be the best friend I can be, or the best wife for that matter. But for my child, I’ll be the best mother I can be and that starts with saying no to the life I once lived and had with Evan.

  My hand splays on my lower belly as I lean my back against the edge of the sink. I have to tell him and I will, but not yet. I need to stop loving him. I need to move on and focus on what I change and make better for what’s to come.

  And a life with the two of us, well, now three … that’s a life that can’t exist.

  Not after the damage Evan’s caused.

  * * *

  Thank you for reading Damaged. Evan and Kat’s story isn’t over yet. Scarred is book 2, the final book, in their duet.

  * * *

  Need more right now? You can always sign up to my newsletter for exclusive sneak peeks and the first five chapters, unedited of Scarred.

  * * *

  Have you read the first duet in the Sins and Secrets Series? Jules and Mason’s story is not to be missed … have a sneak peek of Imperfect.

  * * *

  Fate brought us together, but the sins of my past threaten to rip us apart.

  * * *

  In a city ruled by corruption and powerful men, only the ruthless survive. And that’s just what I am. Like father, like son. The life I lead is riddled with black tie affairs and dark secrets.

  * * *

  A simple mistake destroyed a woman I knew nothing about. She was only a name and a beautiful face in a photograph. Her fairytale life was shattered, but I didn’t give a damn.

  * * *

  Or at least I thought I didn’t care, until she stumbled into me.

  One look, and I was tempted.

  One taste, and I was hooked.

  * * *

  It wasn’t supposed to turn into this. She’s a good girl from the Upper East Side, innocent and naive. She’s ashamed to be moving on so quickly.

  Especially with a man like me. Someone who could tarnish her sterling reputation and make the crack in her picture-perfect frame splinter even deeper.

  We both know this was only meant to be a one-time thing. But I’ll never have my fill of her.

  * * *

  Now she has me wrapped around her little finger, using me to get through her pain. I’m addicted to her soft moans and the way her nails scratch down my back. I’m starting to need her just as much as she needs me.

  * * *

  I’ll protect her from the truth as long as I can. But even if she finds out, I’m not letting her leave me.

  She’s mine now.

  * * *

  “Love is more than words; my heart can tell you that.” - DLS

  To Donna, always an inspiration.

  Prologue

  Mason

  * * *

  Don’t let them see.

  Her words echo in my head as I stalk toward the quiet bedroom. She whispered them against my lips last night. The cool air slipped between us as she broke our kiss and slowly opened her eyes in the dark of the night.

  The street light shined down around us on the back porch of her place on the Upper East Side. The city life slept quietly so late at night, or early in the morning, depending on how you look at it. Only the sinners like us were left awake.

  Don’t let them see. She left me with the parting plea and here I am… giving into her wish.

  I’ve never crept through anyone’s back door so late at night. Not once in my life have I had to sneak around like this.

  I don’t want to keep doing this shit, but here I am. What the hell has this woman done to me? I’m wrapped around her little finger.

  It’s because she’s ashamed. I know that’s why she doesn’t want people to know we’re together. Not just a fling, not a rebound fuck. There’s something more to us now, but she doesn’t want the world to know.

  The
floorboards creak under my weight and I hesitate in the doorway, the dim lamp from the hall filling the dark room with a hint of light. It’s her place and her neighbors aren’t going to hear, but I don’t want to disturb her.

  It’s obvious she’s sleeping, but she stirs beneath the silk duvet until finally she opens her eyes and sees me. She tilts her head to the side as she looks at me, burying her cheek into the pillow, a soft smile playing on her lips.

  “I missed you,” she says and her voice is laced with an equal mix of sleep and lust.

  If only she knew the real reason I crave her touch. The reason I’m so tempted to break all my rules.

  “I’m sorry I’m late,” I tell her in a deep, rough voice as I start unbuttoning my shirt. A smirk turns the corners of my lips up as her eyes sparkle with humor. She doesn’t care when I come and go, so long as I lie in her bed at night, or she in mine.

  Her doe eyes stare back at me while I slip off the button up and let it pool into a puddle at my feet. I yank my tight white undershirt over my head and look back to see those lush lips parted.

  She likes what she sees. My muscles ripple as I let the tank drop to the floor, the moonlight bathing the room and the two of us in a faint glow.

  She may want to keep this a secret, but she fucking wants me and she can’t hide it. I’ve become addicted to the way she looks at me like she needs to touch me to stay grounded, just as she needs to breathe air to survive. I’ve learned to crave the faint sounds of her quickened breath as she waits for me to come to her. As if she’d die without me.

  I’m slow to unbuckle my belt as my eyes roam down her curves. She’s mine to take. Mine to touch. Mine to keep.